This one is tough, I mean tough. The gentle part, I mean. The irony is that even though it is the toughest thing to be, it is the most vital. I have seen this in a way that is clearer than I could ever have imagined.
It happened a week ago. Olivia was in major trouble for saying no to mommy, not just any "no." This was a hands on her hips, face in the air, eyes going around....anybody relate? The reply to her action was extreme. I met her right in her face as I raised my voice to her. I called her a brat, and it made her cry. I lost it. I put her in her bed and turned the corner away from her room feeling like an angry monster. Anger. A sweet hold for the devil...
After our day went on, things were back to normal. All but me. I was noticing the amount of time my eyebrows spent crumpled up. You know that feeling when you can tell you are putting extra wrinkles up there. I was unhappy, or worse, guilty. What I learned, finally, is that anger has consequences. No, I am not speaking about for the child or person who is victimized. I am speaking about the one who gives it. GIVES it. It's like a gift that nobody wants.
In the study of Proverbs I am moving through, I have been introduced to wisdom. Not smarts or intelligence or knowledge, but a thing that comes from only God above. I guess I always thought being wise came with age and experience. Not really so. It comes with soaking in God's words, letting them change me.
Gentle is my primary goal now, no matter what. Anger has a place...but what I am seeing is that it should be rare. Let us save anger for something that is truly an abomination. It takes praying consistently, a working of the Holy Spirit, did I mention praying, deciding to let God's words be more than something on the page. Who am I living for? Is it myself or Jesus Christ?
