Compete

When does a child learn to compete?  I'm here to propose that a child learns this at baby stage.  I've witnessed it.  I'd like to write a few sentences in my observations on this competition thing...where are healthy limits and healthy promotions?  Of course, I am mostly referring to small children, not heavily involved in team playing, although in thinking through this, maybe a team player might feel the same way.

We do "races" during outside time.  Run to the fence and hop back on one foot.  Skip to the play set and sprint around the garden.  You get the idea.  The girls eat. It. Up.  That's okay with me.  I see them take off, wanting to be the fastest, and I encourage them by going with them and cheering for them all.  I encourage them to cheer for each other.

I believe there is a way to strive to win but also be gracious to lose.  For a preschooler who can't spell gracious, this happens in a few ways.  When we race, we ALL cheer.  We ALL do the best we can, with a win in mind.  In the finish, I remind them of one winner.  The attitudes are what make you a true loser though.  It's good to have ONE winner but no losers!  When they whine for not winning, I ask them if they want to try again?  Important note* I never say "we are all winners". It just gives a false impression on achieving a goal.  It applies to more than sports but life and goals.  

Saying this, I have to gently point to the fact that most of life IS NOT about winning.  This is where I am firm to the finish.  When I ask the girls to wash up, it does not matter who cleans their hands first.  When we do bubbles, it does not matter that she made the biggest one.  When we are eating snack, it just does not matter that she ate it the fastest and asked for more.  

Saving competition for a race or sport or healthy agenda, is keeping it in its place.  Making all of life a battle to win is not promoting the joys of life.  We mothers do not have to teach this to our children.  We have to model it for them.  When we are at their event, we don't have to look like we might kill someone while we cheer them on... Remember, from my own recent experience, kids learn it early maybe even innately with our sin nature.  I'm not saying competitive spirit is a sin here, just the attitude that unfortunately comes with it.  The nobody better get in my way thing...

I love to see the girls run!  And man, they almost outrun me!  I'm good with that:).  I'm very good when they make it to the bird feeder finish line and say, "Good job!" to each other.  That just can't be beat!  I watch the looks on their faces, and I see them learning to love on each other, even when they are winning and losing.  Let's take our rightful place with this, and aid in inspiring the joys of life, not the competition of life so firmly ingrained in today's child rearing.